Lisa's Page

* A note for Lisa's friends just finding this page. The original blog ran backwards to avoid scrolling. This 2nd blog was run the same way - I did not pick up the 2nd blog until the posted date. The original blog included her official stats and flyer but I deleted it in anguish. It also has been revised several times as many of the things that were written were very personal and included/aided my grieving process. Actual dates of events are as follows:

Oct 10, 2007 - Lisa was officially added to the National Registry of Missing Persons by law enforcement.

Dec 26, 2007 - Skeletal remains discovered.

Jan 6, 2008 - Law enforcement notified first person of contact (me).

April 2008 - This blog was started as a way to keep Lisa's friends informed of pending memorial arrangement's.

December 2008 - mtDNA results are finally released as "conclusive".

Last blog entry - January 2009 following my return to Florida.

February 2009 - Lisa's remains have still not been released and there has been no formal memorial service. Arrangements are still pending and the case remains open.

April 2009 - No change. Thank you for your continued e-mails and support. I can honestly say there are no finer people on this earth than Lisa's friends.. they who grieve along side me. I love you guys dearly.

May 27, 2009 - I received an e-mail from Detective Galli today. Apparently Lisa's case is still on the back burner and nuclear DNA testing still has not been started. I honestly don't even know why they need the nDNA test because our father never submitted a sample.

May 28, 2009 - I met with local attorneys this morning who have associates in the Pittsburgh area and they have taken the case at their own expense. In addition to assisting me with coming to an expedited resolution and finally getting closure we are also seeking damages as well as petitioning the courts for, "next of kin" status.

I will also be seeking the assistance of a grief counselor.

July 1, 2009: I'm writing this because I am assuming Lisa's closest friends will be paying this blog a visit over the next few days. God love her, I think this would have been a difficult Birthday if she was still alive. Face it, we're not exactly the epitome of youth anymore are we :)

I'm doing OK. I'm finally starting to pull myself and my life back together. It's been quite a journey for me and I am so different in my soul for it. My grieving hasn't been only about Lisa's death it was also about the fact that she got sick to begin with, it's about coming to terms with a mother who allowed her children to play with the mercury from a broken thermometer, it was remembering every individual abusive situation, each neglected moment, the lack of encouragement and direction, and stolen dreams. We didn't have any head starts or advantages, in reality, all of the cards were stacked against us. These are burdens that both of us carried, it's unfortunate that only one of us has survived long enough to strip themselves down to nothing and start building back up again. She'd be proud of me if she knew just how much healing has been accomplished.

July 9th is a very special day, even more special than ever before. It's a day that I will continue to celebrate.

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If the situation should change, John M has your contact info and you will be updated accordingly but as it now stands the case will remain open indefinitely.

Lisa's remains were discovered by a resident of the Industrial Park area in Somerset Township, Pennsylvania after having been declared a missing person 4 months earlier. It took law enforcement 10 days to contact me because she had no form of identification with her. The only things she had with her that could assist them in identifying her was a CVS card and the key to her pick up truck. She was identified only after representatives of CVS could get back to them with the card holder name. At that point law enforcement entered the name of the card holder into the missing persons data base and found her missing persons flyer. I was the contact person on that flyer.

There are so many things about the way law enforcement handled this case but what angers me most is that I (we) were dragged through the mud for almost an entire year, being left in the dark and being denied any and all information until her status was upgraded from Jane Doe to Lisa Dudley. I don't understand how it is that Callee (whatever her name is in Orlando), who had been decomposing in the woods for 12 months was able to be identified only after 1 week, yet it took law enforcement an entire year of screwing around with my head before Lisa was finally identified... and to this day testing is still not 100% complete. From what I understand is that the mtDNA testing is what identified her but they are still doing Nuclear DNA testing and still are trying to determine the exact cause of death.

This is a situation that NO ONE should EVER have to endure.

DNA results finally came in just shy of 1 year ... we finally have a positive identification and as we all knew the remains discovered in Pennsylvania are my sisters. I drove to Pennsylvania and met Detective Galli at the site where Lisa was found. He brought his binders and allowed me to see Lisa's file. I did view the photos.. everybody told my not to but for my own closure I did. They were not gruesome and they don't haunt me at night. I have so many wonderful memories of Lisa that seeing her last photos is nothing other than closure and the end of a long and painful chapter of my life.

While at the site, after the detective left I did what I needed to do to make peace with Lisa, placed a silver cross on her tree and said my good byes. It was a long and somber drive to Connecticut.

I have posted photos of Lisa's resting place. You may choose to look or not. She is not visible in any photo. The the first 3 are from the local Somerset media. The remaining photos are from my own camera and it's just a marker.

Photos HERE

As for my move back to New England? I came, I saw, I left. There is no place for me in New England. It was the right decision to leave.

As for Lisa's funeral? I don't know. Joyce had a Mass for her in Pompano 3 days after the DNA results were announced. Unfortunately none of Lisa's immediate family (myself, brother & father) or friends were notified of the mass, nor were they invited so the way I see it, it never happened. It was simply a self serving, selfish gesture made by and for a woman who abused and abandoned her children.

Law enforcement has still not closed the case and state that they may never release her remains or her belongings. Reason sited is similarities to a pending case involving multiple victims. I do know this, after looking at her file her death was definitely not murder and even though cause of death remains officially, "unknown" I think we all know what happened. Whatever law enforcement chooses is up to them, but I know in my heart that Lisa died with dignity, in strength, in courage and of her own will. A very admirable way to go.

After considering my last conversation with her, seeing the position of her remains and belongings in the photos, and then finding (and reading) her last journal when I got to Connecticut I know in my heart that it was a well thought out decision and Lisa did not suffer when she went. While it hurts me so very deeply that she was alone in her last moments I know she did what was the right thing for herself.

This experience has changed my life in almost as many ways as Lisa's being a part of this earth has, and the outcome of both events will be life lasting.

XO

Kirsten

How I remember her most..





Over the years, as Lisa and I reminisced about the most memorable moments in our lives we always went back to the same place. We had so many friends, but we had none. We found ourselves... together.

Lisa had a great group of friends. Alice, Andy, Lisa, and Robyn. They were a separate entity all of their own. Separate from me and my sister. They were a group of fun loving, wild and free but sincere, good hearted people. They had a friendship that was something I admired as much as a little sister can possibly admire her older sister and the illusion of greatness that she created. I wanted so much to be like her. I wanted to have the friendships she had. I wanted to have the fun she was having.

I admired the amazing way Lisa had about her that gave her the uncanny ability to make friends no matter where she went. It seemed like all she had to do was smile and people were drawn to her.

I never had that ability. I was an elite gymnast, working out in the gym 4 to 6 hours every day after school..traveling on the weekends to this competition and that competition.. becoming the superstar I always wanted to be but never became. I never really had time to make friends let alone form close bonds with anyone other than my coach... so as my gymnastic career ended I found myself alone and socially aloof. I was so shy. I was so incapable, ill equipt even. Lisa would just smile at me, cock her head to the side and kinda pull me in. I found my place under her wing.

When I saw Lisa in action and laughing with her friends I was in awe. She saw a friend in everyone and never made a single judgment against anyone. You could have lived in a mansion, a trailer or somewhere in between... gone to a private school or a public school.. F-M, ESM, JD, Bishop Grimes, Franciscan Academy... or been an import from Kansas. Black, white, brown, purple or.. God forbid, "zoid"... She always saw past the outside and was able to grasp who they were on the inside.

Like a lost kitten I followed Lisa.

She wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend and at times my only friend. In the last 3 years of her life our relationship was especially strained as an unfortunate side effect of her illness. Even I became a suspect to her. It was a very difficult time.... and now she rests. Hopefully she is no longer sick or suffering, and hopefully she now knows just how much I loved her.